Learning to Breathe Again: Peace Beyond Understanding

Ephesians 2:17 NIV

"He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near."

It’s easy to feel peace when everything is going well. When there is no drama. The kids are doing great in school, and their health is good. Work is booming, and there’s even extra money. The marriage is solid, and there’s love, romance, and respect. Ministry is growing and bearing fruit. Everything is running smoothly with an amazing team. There is almost no room for dumb fights.

We call this living on the mountaintops, or "at the peak" of life.

But what happens when we are in the valleys of life?

When cancer hits your child and the hospital bills are piling up. When your own health falls apart and you receive a difficult diagnosis. When one or both of you lose your job, the business is failing, and the lack of money has you completely stressed out. When there’s conflict at church, the ministries are not united, almost no one helps, and fewer people show up each week.

Marriage starts to feel like a burden. You do not even make time for each other anymore, and emotional, physical, or verbal abuse becomes the norm.

Can we still feel God's presence and peace in the valleys?

The bigger question is: Are we willing to choose to live in His peace and in His presence during the valleys?

I will be honest with you. These last three weeks, since my husband was forced to go on disability earlier than expected because his job could no longer accommodate his limitations, have been the hardest season in our almost 14 years of marriage. Peace did not exist in our day-to-day lives.

It was all fighting. We were cussing each other out, being disrespectful, and even experiencing some physical abuse. There was a lot of pain, all because we were letting our emotions run the show. We allowed the stress of everything going on to control us. We were trusting only in our own strength and abilities instead of putting our trust and faith in God.

The key to why we could not feel God's presence and peace during this season was that both of us, sometimes without realizing it and sometimes knowingly, chose to disconnect from our main source, our Redeemer, our Provider, and our Healer.

In Ephesians 2:17, we see a powerful reminder of what Christ came to do.

Many married couples feel "far away" from one another because of disagreements, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, unhealed wounds, or past trauma. This verse reminds us that Christ can bridge that distance. Through Him, reconciliation and peace are possible, even in the middle of conflict.

When fights break out, the Apostle Paul reminds us to pursue peace, just as Christ did. That means intentionally working toward a solution, listening to one another, and seeking common ground so we can truly understand each other.

Marriage often brings together two people from different families, different backgrounds, different personalities, and sometimes different childhood wounds. Paul encourages us to remember that the peace of Christ reaches both of us, regardless of our differences.

We can choose to live in His presence and invite Him into our circumstances so we can experience His perfect peace.

Questions to Reflect On

1. How can you and your husband come together and choose to live in peace and experience His presence, not only on the mountaintops but also in the valleys?

2. What resources are available to help bring healing to your marriage?

3. Do you truly desire healing in your marriage? Or has the relationship reached a point where you feel you have tried everything, and it may be time to prayerfully consider making the difficult decision to walk away?

   
   

Take time to pray and ask your Heavenly Father to guide you in your next steps.

Prayer

Heavenly Father,

We come before You with honor and respect this morning. We lift up the name of Your Son, Jesus, and thank You for another day and another opportunity to place our marriages in Your hands.

Father, help us as wives to make the effort to understand our husbands' point of view, even when we do not agree. Help me recognize if my husband needs professional help to heal or to break free from addictions. Give me wisdom to know whether it is too late to repair my marriage and I must make the difficult decision to leave, or whether there is still time to pursue healing and restoration.

Help us communicate well when we share what we think, feel, and need. Teach us to speak clearly and respectfully without allowing our emotions to take over and cause us to sin or hurt one another with our words. As Your Word says, help us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

Father God, help us focus on what we do agree on. Instead of dwelling on the problems and what we cannot do, teach us to seek solutions that bring You honor and glory.

Holy Spirit, unite us in Your love and help us pursue the peace of God that surpasses all understanding. Let that peace guide our marriages, especially during difficult seasons, reflecting Your love to those who have become far from one another.

May we find healing through godly marriage counseling, wise pastoral mentoring, and the work of reconciliation that only You can accomplish.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

From the Upcoming Book The Secret Place of a Woman's Heart

This blog is a glimpse into The Secret Place of a Woman's Heart, a book for women seeking healing, restoration, and a deeper relationship with God.

If today's message spoke to you, remember this: true peace is not found in perfect circumstances, but in the presence of Christ. My prayer is that you would draw closer to Him, allowing Him to transform both your heart and your relationships from the inside out.

The Secret Place of a Woman's Heart is coming soon.

---

Jacquelyn Alcantar

A daughter of God, a wife, a sister, a friend writing about finding God’s peace in the valleys. As this world passes away, I would like to uplift and encourage you on how to navigate this life along the side of our Heavenly Father to thrive in all that he calls you to do! Be the Miracle God called you to be!

Instagram: @jackymoh07

Facebook: DiegoandJackieAlcantar